Men will be boys

The truth is out… boys do cry!  But seriously, most girls want a guy who can be both strong and sensitive.  I don’t want a guy weeping on my shoulder, but it’s nice to know that boys have feelings too.  Valenti is something else!  She’s certainly a force to recon with.  She has many valid points on the way society constructs boys into men, or more often now men into boys. 

It’s very frustrating because I just don’t understand why we allow ourselves to be socially constructed/ continue to socially construct the following generations.  We imbed these ideas of what girls or in this article, boys, are suppose to be like.  Why does it matter?  Shouldn’t we just be who we want to be?  Can’t we remove the stereotypes and stop trying to mold people into what we “think” boys and girls are suppose to be like.  I worry that we will never actually see that type of equality because so many people are brainwashed into thinking that this is the way things are suppose to be.  We are a very judgmental culture.  We love to analyze other people’s lives.  We like to criticize their faults, when in reality their faults are probably the same as ours.  

On another note, Christina Hoff Sommers’ The War against Boys discusses why it’s a bad time to be a boy in America.  Girls have surpassed boys in the classroom; they are getting better grades.  Girls are the leaders of the clubs and activities.  They are more engaged in school and more concerned with achieving success.  More women attend college than men.  This information shows that women have come very far and that our interest in achievement is paying off.  In middle school and high school, I always assumed girls were more ambitious because we were the ones making the grades and filling the leadership positions.  The idea that boys were less interested in these types of things seemed normal.  So I guess I am not surprised that the statistics are confirming this.  What I am concerned about is why boys are disinterested in school and extracurricular activities.  Sadly, I hear parents condone boys disinterest in school with the “oh you know how boys are” comment.  I also believe that being competitive, if a boy cannot easily beat a girl in something he will pretend it doesn’t matter and not apply himself because of the fear of failure.  I guess this is something that needs some further research.

More Aware

Prior to this class, I never noticed the stereotypical gender remarks.  I grew up feeling like I could do anything a boy could do and probably do it better.  I have always been given the same opportunities that boys I knew were given.  My parents encouraged me to follow my passions whether that was power rangers or the medical field.  They said that I could do anything I set my heart to, and to this day I still believe it.  I do not believe that a man can get in my way from accomplishing my goals.  We have been blest to be in America for that reason because in many countries these types of ideals are unrealistic for women. 

With that being said, now that I am in this class I have been more observant to the little comments that are gender discriminating.  I was driving today with a boy in my passenger seat, and he said, “You’re a good driver, but you still don’t have the Y chromosome.”  I laughed at the time and said, “Oh please like having a Y chromosome makes you any more adept, if anything it’s a handicap.”  Even though I believe that I am capable of anything that a man can do, I’m finally “hearing” these little “jokes.”  I think it is important to be confident and fire back another little “joke” because confidence can overcome these little remarks.  It’s funny though how casual they are though because we’ve grown up hearing the “that’s my boy!” or “quit being such a girl!” comments.  We’ve all done it.  It is important to educate the next generation so we can break from this mold. 

Another thing that I’ve picked up on since starting this class is that you (Celia) said that women are more inclined to start out a sentence “I think/believe.”  Writing these blogs I am becoming more cognizant of how many opinionated sentences I start with “I think /believe.”  I keep catching myself and forcing myself to change it.  Crazy how that works…

Ecofeminism

Ecofeminism looks at the relationship between women and nature.  In most cases, women are compared to nature in a patriarchal society because males have dominated both for so long.  Words that describe women and nature are transposed.  Women are called foxes and chicks, while nature can be conquered and subdued.  It is believed that it is a joint effort for women and nature to be freed because of the domineering relationship between men and them. 

Some human centered environmentalists, like Rachel Carson, believe that when we are harming the earth we are harming ourselves. I think that this is an important part of ecofeminism.  We are not fully aware of the effects of our actions.  We continue to exploit our natural resources, and we drive the two blocks to work instead of walking (or drive from East to class). 

Rene Descartes’ philosophy, “I think, therefore I am,” is believed to be one of the reasons why humans feel the need to control nature.  Humans think that because we are capable of thinking that we are superior to those that cannot think like trees.  Thus we use our power to make decisions on what land we will destroy to build a new highway or mall.  As with everything, I think it is about moderation.  While it is important to build certain structures, we need to be respectful of the environment and preserve what we do have. 

Mary Daly seemed a little two extreme for me.  She referred to men as parasites, who feed off women's energy to fuel their destructive activities.  This seems a bit harsh.  Plenty of women are just as destructive to the environment.  On the other hand, I know plenty of guys who are members of Greenpeace, and they are trying to save the environment.  I have a difficult time respecting someone's opinions if he or she is not tactful with how they say things.  I didn't feel like Mary Daly was tactful in her accusations. 

Overall, ecofeminism is very appealing because it seeks to liberate both women and nature.  I think that this is empowering.  I have always tried to be conscientious of the environment but never really considered the connection I had to the environment.  

Postmodern and Third-Wave Feminism

To define a few words that I have just added to my vocabulary, postmodern feminists reject phallogocentric thought, or ideas ordered around an absolute word that is male in style.  They also reject feminist thought that aims to give a single explanation for why women or oppressed or how to liberate women.  Third-wave feminists are interested in diversity and change.  They welcome conflict and contradictions because difference is the way things are.  Until reading this chapter, I was unfamiliar with these terms.  Jacques Derrida discusses structural differences, which are based on binary oppositions.  The definition of female is based on the definition of male.  Cixous also talks of these dichotomies, associated certain qualities with males and others with females.  Obviously we use language to describe other words, but they should not always associate with males or females.  Cixous uses “activity” to describe males and “passivity” to describe females.  She certainly doesn’t know the women I know! Passive is far from the word I would use to describe them. 

Power is another interesting subject that is talked about in this chapter.  Power-relationships are evident in all aspects of our lives.  People are constantly battling for power or being put in their place by power.  Power can be both a limiting and empowering agent.  For women beauty is a source of power.  This desire for power has prompted cosmetic surgery.  The problem is that society defines beauty and makes women self-conscious of every detail on their bodies.  This insecurity leads to drastic measures to be seen as beautiful and rewarded power.  This cycle is one big institution.  Take a beautiful girl like Heidi Montague from The Hills and because of the pressures of society she goes out and has like 15 surgeries.  She has completely deformed her natural beauty.  She looks absolutely fake. 

I like that the Third-wave feminists are open to diversity and change.  I think it is important to separate the stereotypes that we have for people of different backgrounds.  It is important to understand your heritage, but your heritage should never be a handicap or a source of hardship.  More people need to be open to diversity and change because in many cases it is for the best.