Gender Across Borders

The articles that you sent us from Gender Across Borders were very relevant to today’s class particularly the one America, Hijab, and the Muslim Female Experience.  It’s terrible that we associate a head covering with terrorism.  I just don’t understand why these women had to take their hijabs off.  Wearing them was by no means interfering with their performance at work.  Our society has come to associate Muslim with terrorism.  That shouldn’t be the case though.  Yes, a few people of the Muslim religion committed acts of terrorism, but Muslims, as a whole should not be penalized.   If a white Christian male goes into a school and kills students, we do not ostracize the whites, Christian, or males.  We are supposed to be the “land of the free” but yet we will not allow women to wear a scarf on their heads.  It drives me insane that we have allowed the “war on terrorism’ to turn into a “war on gender and Muslims.” 

In Our Bodies are not a Battlefield:  The Invisible Impacts of Armed Violence in Colombia, I was shocked to learn that 60 to 70 percent of Colombian women have been abused.  I understand that in a machista culture that having guns is seen as protection, but I am disgruntled to learn that the guns are not used for protection but as an aid in the violence of women.  The more I learn about other cultures, the more I realize I didn’t know.  I realize that there are many issues in the world, but I had no idea how many.  I was unaware of all of the sexual violence in Columbia.  I grew up thinking that women were equal to men, and this class has taught me to be thankful for the rights that I have and be aware of the gendered conflicts in the United States as well as across the world.  I cannot imagine the psychological effects that these women who have been raped or sexual slaves have experienced.    

The interview with the male teenagers from the district of Aguablanca got to the heart of what peace is.  They said that peace begins in the home and that if you grow up seeing violence you think that violence is the only way to solve problems.  These boys seemed to understand the direction that we need to go.  We need to teach peace in the home at a young age because if children see that problems can be solved in a peaceful way they will be more inclined to solve their problems in a peaceful way and be less likely to join armed groups.  

Religion

When reading Honour killings:  Saved from India’s caste system by the Love Commandos, I felt very conflicted.  I am a very religious person, growing up in a Catholic home and attending Catholic school.  When I was younger, I felt a strong adherence to the rules of the church; however, now that I am learning more, I have come to question certain aspects of religion.  I use to think that Catholicism was perfect, but now I’ve come to learn that no religion is perfect.  I believe that it is more important now just to have faith no matter what it is and remember those simple rules about loving one another, being thankful for the things that we are blessed with, and asking for forgiveness.  Just as I have questioned or challenged certain aspects of my religion, this article demonstrates how this couple is subjected to difficulties based on their caste.  At first, I was appalled that arranged marriages still happen and that marrying outside of your caste is forbidden, but then I thought about the fact that this is their culture.  This is what they are accustomed to and who are we to judge them for living like this?  I do find the killing of these couples outrageous, but at the same time I can understand why they continue the arranged marriages and the practices that they have. 

It’s a tough situation.  Where does the line of adherence to religion end?  How literal are we suppose to interpret the religious materials? Religion is just one of those touchy subjects.  There’s certainly no right answer.  Everyone interprets it differently and responds differently.  Religion is one of those things that I think we need to keep out of.  As Americans we love to get involved in the rest of the world’s business, but religion is one thing that we should just let be.

Poems from Class

The poems we did in class were very fitting.   And When You Leave, Take Your Pictures With You sadly seems very accurate.  Too many people are inclined to do things because what they are doing will be a resume builder or make them feel better for the all of the times that they neglected to do the right thing.  Not only do people do things for the wrong reasons, but they also take pictures so that they have proof of their good work.  They are exploiting other people’s misfortune to then better themselves.  The focus when going to a place that needs help is to help them, not yourself.  It’s about being selfless, not selfish.  We should be trying to get these people in a situation where they can provide for themselves and increase the quality of their lives. 

The Bridge Poem discusses what it feels like to be the mediator in a situation.  The speaker is the mediator between members of her family and several different cultural and religious groups.  The speaker feels as though she spends more time being this bridge between different groups than being the bridge to the speaker’s future.  It is certainly easy to get lost spending time as the bridge between people, but it is important to remember to stay focused on your future.  If you are true to yourself and do what you should be doing, you will make more of an impact than if you get lost in everyone else’s business.  If you spend all of your time being everyone else’s bridge you will lose sight of your own bridge.

In When I Was Growing Up, the speaker in this poem describes several ways in which she wishes that she were white.  When I first started reading this poem, I assumed that the girl was black.  I did not expect her to be Asian.  This poem reminds me of the article that we had everyone read for our presentation because the speaker talks about being forced to fit the stereotypical role of an exotic gardenia or an oriental chick.  I hate that she feels that she needs to fit some sort of stereotype in order to be liked.  The pressure of society can easily make you feel insecure about yourself and your culture.  We analyze every aspect of ourselves looking at our imperfections instead of being proud of the gifts that we have. 

Roles in Relationships

This presentation really got everyone talking.  The survey spurred some thoughts about traditional roles in relationships versus a more egalitarian relationship.  I think that the survey probably needed to be a little more specific in the way the questions were asked because there are so many different types of family structures.  We have a lot of overlap in the chores that my family does.  My mom works longer hours than my dad does so despite my dad’s subpar cooking skills, he had to step up to the plate and handle some of the cooking in the house.  My brother and I grew up doing the exact same chores.  We both did the weeding and the dish washing.  No work should be considered “woman’s work” or a “man’s job.”  It should be about compromising and doing what’s best for the family in that situation. 

Our class is certainly leaning towards a more egalitarian view of relationship roles.  I thought that it was interesting how the main couple in the video we watched were portrayed.  The man was shown as the nurturer, and the woman was depicted as the provider.  I realize what they were trying to portray to the public, but it’s funny how they had to make them completely opposite of the stereotypical roles.  It’s as if they had to do a complete role reversal in order to prove to society that this could work.  I would have preferred to see something where they were equally helping each other with whatever task they were performing.  That video made it look like it was all for show.

The roles in a relationship are dynamic not static.   They can and will change over the course of the relationship.  Assuming Abe and I stay together, while I am in medical school, he will be the provider, but when I get out it will be more balanced.  Perhaps when we have kids, he will cut back on his hours and be the more of the stay-at-home dad.  Of course this is hard to determine now, but I know that we will compromise.  He loves to cook, and I love to clean.  You have to be willing to compromise in a relationship if you want it to work.  

Contested Spaces

Coming Apart was an interesting excerpt because it dares to talk to about pornography, which is sometimes a difficult topic.  I don’t really know much about pornography, but this passage made a comment that really stuck with me.  They refer to white women as ‘objects’ and black women as ‘animals’.  Neither of these characterizations is acceptable.   Objects and animals? I’m cringing at the thought of these words.  They are so hurtful, and they reinforce the negative way that women are treated.  The husband doesn’t realize the implications of his actions.  He brings home these pornographic magazines that do nothing but make his wife feel like an animal.  He puts more distance between the two of them until they eventually they have to take a break.  I had no idea that the root of pornography was with black women.  I should have inferred this because of slavery and the vicious treatment that they endured. 

The other article that I would like to discuss with this is Cudd’s Oppression by Choice.  In this article, Cudd argues that social structures can lead to oppression and that oppressed people continue their own oppression, reinforcing it.  This seems like an awful cycle where women are coerced to make decisions based on the social institutions that are shaping the way they live.  I particularly enjoyed the hypothetical situation between Larry and Lisa.  It makes perfect sense how together they decided to do something that they thought was for the best interest of the family, but in the end, this decision put Lisa on an unequal playing field with Larry, leaving her susceptible to subjugation.  The worst part about this was that the wage gap was what led them to the decision they made.  It’s ridiculous that men on average make 64% more than women when they’ve had the same amount of education. 

One of the important factors of oppression is that someone must be the oppressor and someone must be the oppressed.  You would think that it would be an easy cycle to end.  Treat everyone with respect and there would no longer be an oppressor or and oppressed.  So why is it so difficult for us to do this?  Unfortunately, people are very power hungry, and this drive for power makes people stop at nothing to get to the top.  Or people use the oppressed to feel better about their lives.  They go do mission trips for the wrong reasons.  The anecdote that Celia mentioned in class about the student who hoped that the oppressed people would still be there so her kids could experience the same thing was very upsetting.  Clearly, the goal of the trip was not to help the oppressed get out of their oppression…

Transgender

I was really glad that we had a transgender presentation because I was completely unknowledgeable in that area.  It is hard to understand how someone feels when you are not in his or her situation.  We are so quick to judge things as being weird or abnormal.  But we who defines what normal is?  I’m happy that Andie came and spoke to our class. I really enjoyed hearing what she had to say and having the opportunity to understand where she is coming from. I wish that people were more open-minded.  Andie is a wonderful girl and should be proud of who she is but instead has to endure difficult situations everywhere she turns. 

We are all humans when it comes down to it.  Who cares whether your sexual preference is male, female, or both?  Who cares what gender you identify with?  You should be accepted for who you are.  I think that the new model that they are forming is a strong starting block for how to describe gender.  It certainly should not be seen in a linear way.  I like that they are taking into considerations attributions, identity, and expression.  I am somewhat surprised that there isn’t already a model similar to this.  The nice thing with this model is that it takes into accounts several factors of gender as opposed to the linear model. 

I had never thought of gender in a fluid way, but it certainly makes sense.  Aspects of my personality are more masculine and some are more feminine.  Certain aspects change from day to day as well.  Before this class, I viewed gender in a very linear way.  I thought it was black and white, but I have come to learn that there is much more to it than that.  The only that I still have a hard time understanding is the assigning of the 0 instead of feminine or masculine.  I cannot grasp how something is completely gender neutral.  I don’t think that they are polar opposites, but I feel like you identify, express, and attribute just a little more towards the masculine or feminine side.  I wish I could get in the head of someone who does view the world in an entirely gender neutral way. 

Putting the shoe on the other foot is a difficult thing to accomplish, so it was nice having Andie there.  I wish that we had more time so we could have learned more.  Andie told me after class that in the United States if you go through a sex change, they make you sterile so you cannot have kids.  In Europe though you are allowed to have kids.  I wanted to share this on my blog because I was unsure of this so I asked, and I imagine that other people may have also been wondering the same thing.

The Media

 We quickly come to stereotype people from other different areas and cultures of the world.  When I think of an Asian woman, I think of a tiny woman with the traditional kimono, her hair in bun with chopsticks, and her feet wrapped.  Stereotype.  When I think of a Latino woman, I think of the spicy woman dressed in provocative clothing speaking very quickly and fiercely.  Where do I get these cultural perceptions when I have never been to Asia or Latin America?  The media.  The media does a great job of lumping people of several different cultures into one identity.  They try to put a face to an entire continent, when in reality there are a million different cultures and types of people on each continent. 

Who makes up the media?  How do they have the power to control cultural perceptions?  They can easily place a positive or negative image on an entire area of the world with one picture.  The fact that I was asked in Armenia if my life was like Sex and the City is a prime example.

When you turn on the news, what do you see?  Awful things.  The majority of what the media portrays are these negative images of people, places, ideas, etc.  I can’t remember the last time that I saw them highlight the positive things that people are doing around the world to improve society.  Unfortunately society doesn’t like to see the positive things.  We like to see that Tyra put on 50lbs or that Angelina lashed out at baby Shiloh.  That’s what we read when we pick up the magazines.  It is an ugly cycle that the media feeds on.  Everyone likes to watch the celebrities and higher officials fail.  Every time I turned on ESPN after the Tiger Woods scandal, they were releasing some new information about this girl or that girl.  This story went on for months upon months.  Why?  Because people were entertained by someone else’s failure. 

It’s crazy to think that the media has as much of an influence as they do.  They have the power to change people’s ideas and impressions.  It would be interesting to see what would happen if they started displaying the positive things.  Showing the positive things that are going on in society might make a happier world.  We would be more globalized if we just accurately understood other cultures.  Thanks to the media for inaccurately portraying cultures and feeding off of other people’s failures.

The Art of Parenting

Well I may not be a parent, but since I have parents I guess that makes me somewhat qualified to discuss this topic.  I think the key thing to remember when it comes to parenting is that you do your best, and you need to trust that the guidance you gave your child will help him or her make good decisions.  In the end, we all make good and bad decisions.  The important factor is that we learn from our mistakes. 

My parents both work full time jobs so they did not do the “attached parenting” thing, and I had a babysitter, who they trusted.  My mom and I talk about parenting in reference to how she tried to raise my brother and me and in terms of how I would want to raise my future children.  She always tells me that it is important to guide your children but at the same time allow them to be independent enough to make decisions on their own.  My parents feel that it is critical for us to understand the importance of working hard.  If we gave our best in the classroom and at home, we were given more opportunities to be independent and to use this newfound freedom to learn and grow.  My parents gave us a $5.00 a week allowance for all of the chores we did so that we would learn the value of money.  If we wanted to go to the movies or buy a game, we had to save our allowance, until we were old enough to get a job to pay for our activities and wants.  My parents challenged us to pursue our strengths and improve on our weaknesses.  Above all, they just wanted us to be good people and treat others with the same respect that we ask in return. 

Two thing that bother me are carrying a child around as an accessory as in Jong's Mother Madness and seeing the books about “how to be a great mom.”  A child should not accent the clothes that you are wearing or be used to prove a point. Motherhood isn’t one of those things that you follow by the book.  Each child is different and requires a different type of nurturing.  There’s no one-way to do it.  No one should try to tell another mother how to raise their child like or require breast-feeding like Gisele Bundchen wants in Mother Madness.  If there were a lab manual on how to raise children that actually work, we’d have a bunch of angels running around.  I’ve yet to see that so I think we need to treat each child as an individual and raise that individual to the best of our ability and hope that we did the best that we could.  There will be days that they fall, but it’s important to be there to pick them up and put them back on their path.

The Talk

When I was in 4^th grade, my mom had to attend a meeting where they distributed period kits and explained to the mothers how they were supposed to talk to their daughters.  Awkward? Yes.  Then high school came along, and our gym/ health teacher decided that it was unimportant to talk about sex education.  However, we were required to talk either “Childcare” or “Family Living.”  In the childcare class they did they whole “this is how babies are born” thing, and then in the family living class, we learned how to handle joint issues like money.  What I learned about sex education came mostly from my peers, but I have a great relationship with my parents so I felt comfortable having mature conversations with them.  At this point in my biology career, I think they knew that I understood what happened. 

As in the New York Times article, Sex Ed in Washington, the debate continues as to what type of sex education program the government should be investing in.  The two main types of programs are abstinence-only and contraceptive-orientated.  I think that the best approach is to do a combination of the two because you are going to have students that respond better to each of them.  No one program is going to meet each student’s needs.  With a combination approach, you are more likely to meet the needs of each student.  This way they realize that it is okay to abstain from sex, but at the same time if you are going to be sexually active, it is important to be protected.  They also need to learn what is protection and what protection is protecting you from what.  I think that it is important to have role models in each of these groups so students can see that being a virgin is cool or that you can have responsible sex and not be a labeled a slut.  It would also be beneficial to have someone come in and talk that had a child at an early age so that the students understand the consequences of making the decision to be sexually active.  I know that some of the shows on TV like 16 and Pregnant are a little racy, but I also think that it is important for those stories to be shared so that teenagers can be educated when making a decision about sex.   

Rape/ Sexual Assault

“Rapes were not rare and isolated acts committed by individual Serbian or Yugoslav forces, but rather were used deliberately as an instrument to terrorize the civilian population, extort money from families and push people to flee their home,” concluded Human Rights Watch.  The fact that this continues to happen as a war tactic shows that we have a very corrupt society that needs to wake up and realize that these women have families just like the women in their lives do.  I can’t even imagine what these women went through.  Hearing Drita’s story about being dragged away from her home broke my heart.  I would never feel safe again.  This reminded me of being at Geisinger this summer when a 17-year-old girl came in and was have suicidal thoughts because she had lost her mother and her stepbrother was raping her.  She seemed so fragile, and I don’t know how you can help someone out of a situation like that.  She will constantly struggle with trust issues and will always feel as the article says, “ruined.” 

The other thing that really bothers me about this article is that these women are so afraid to talk about their sexual assault because they terrified that they will be blamed for what happened.  The married will be banished and the single will never find a husband.  They must feel so trapped.  We are fortunate to have outlets that make people feel comfortable.  I feel very lucky to have people who I can turn to in times of need.  On the other hand, these women have to hide their beauty with dirt and hair so they will not be selected out of a crowd to be assaulted.  These women have such graphic nightmares.  I don’t know if I would ever be able to sleep again.  Not only is their world torn apart through the physical destruction of their home and village, but also the emotional destruction. 

When I was reading 28 Stories of AIDS in Africa, this same topic came up.  Some of the women were raped but they would not tell their husbands for the fear of them being exiled.  Thus, they spread AIDS to their husband and their children.  In other cases, when the husband was sleeping with prostitutes and his wife, he would blame the wife for giving him AIDS and then banish her, when in reality it was the prostitute who spread it. He did not want to be caught as the bad guy so it was easier to blame it on the woman. 

Female Suicide Bombers

Suicide bombers, in general, are an interesting topic.  I think that it is a difficult concept for us to grasp.  My first thought when I read this article was why would anyone do such an awful thing?  Then I started thinking about it, and I realized that it is challenging to understand another culture.  Too often we criticize the things that we do not understand.  We don’t live where they live.  We didn’t grow up with the beliefs they grew up with.  We don’t understand the mentality behind this.  So we call it crazy.  But how can we call something crazy when we don’t actually understand? 

Perhaps these women are willing to be female suicide bombers because they have already lost their husbands, or maybe they want to do it in honor of their country.  Another reason is that they are doing it as a statement in the name of their gender.  It is funny though how we try to analyze the reason behind a woman’s motive for becoming a female suicide bomber, but we never question a male’s motive.  We are able to accept a man dying for his country more than we can accept a woman doing the same.  Because of our socially constructed views of gender, men are viewed as the violent ones, and women are supposed to be the peacekeepers.  We love to try to explain people’s behavior when we are not in the situation to do that. 

While I certainly do not support suicide bombing, I think that it is unfortunate that we view something like this is a gendered way.  It’s suicide bombing.  Does it matter whether it is a female or a male that commits the act?  I imagine that many of the reasons that men or women are willing to sacrifice their lives have overlapping motives.  In most species the mother is the protector of her children so it makes sense for the female to be aggressive.  In my biopsychology class, Dr. Widman told us that when two male rats are fighting if one surrenders, the other would back off.  However if a female is fighting and the other rat surrenders, the female will strike to kill.  To reiterate, we need to stop associating a gender to certain acts and trying to explain behavior purely because of gender.

Nordstrom

As I’m reading Nordstrom’s article Visible Wars and Invisible Girls, I feel very thankful to feel safe.  It is so disturbing to think of the black-marketing of women and children, or that in war, as many children are tortured as adults and more children die in war than soldiers.  As depressing as this is, I more upset by the fact that we are taught to ‘not-see’ the issues involved in violence and war.  It is very difficult for me to imagine what it is like for someone who is constantly living in fear with his or her home as a battlefield.  Even now amidst the war on terrorism, if you do not have someone you know fighting there, you forget that it is going on.  Besides for forgetting that we are fighting a war, we are also unaware of the other effects of the war on the women and children in the Middle East.  This article brought to my attention the real numbers that we should be seeing:  the number of women and children raped, tortured, and killed. 

            The stories that Nordstrom shares are about three girls in Mozambique are quite startling, but they are something that more people need to be aware of.  These girls were stripped of their innocence and in the third girl’s case her life.  I was always under the impression that women and children were the ones to be protected, but this completely goes against that notion.  I like to think that the people who are fighting for our country are doing so protect our freedoms, and us and I would hope that they do so with honor.  After reading this article, I begin to question the integrity of soldiers.  I guess that it is a war tactic in many cases, but I still find it hard to believe that people can be so heartless. 

            Another frightening statistic was the one produced from the US Advisory Board on Child Abuse and Neglect.  Abuse and neglect in the home are the leading causes of death in children, resulting in 2,000 deaths and 140,000 injuries per year.  Incidents like the one mentioned where the parent uses a raw lamp wire and socket to stop a child from wetting the bed reaffirm the fact that some people should not reproduce, as far as I am concerned.  Some people are just awful.  I feel that after reading this article, I lost some respect for society.

The Playground Gets Even Tougher

This article is very disheartening.  When did little girls become so mean?  Where do they learn these things?  It’s like these girls are brainwashed by the middle school girls.  What seven-year-old need a cell phone?  Who can they possibly be texting?!  This behavior comes down to the media, peers, and parenting.  The media displays the mean girls as the cool girls, and then the little girls think that being mean is okay.  So they are mean to the other girls in their class, and they criticize the girls who don’t wear the cool clothes or act the way these girls behave on television act.  So the media exposes the girls to this behavior; then the girls treat their peers a certain way.  These acts force the other girls to victimize other girls or be the victim.  The most shocking part of this ugly cycle is when you hear that the mother is supporting this behavior as in the article.  It’s very disheartening to think of their innocence being stripped away.  These kids have to grow up faster and in a harsh environment. 

While men have always been depicted as the aggressive ones, I think this article sheds light on the other aggressors.  I think girls are just as aggressive as men, just in a different way.  Men might be more physically aggressive, but women are certainly more emotionally aggressive.  I remember when I was in the 6^th grade the girls started becoming very cliquey, and it was unacceptable to be friends with the girls of another group.  I didn’t like that at all.  I specifically remember one time while we were on the playground, and because I was friendly with both groups the one group grabbed my one arm and the other group pulled my other arm.  I was being torn in two different directions, physically and emotionally.  I remember breaking free from their grip and walking away so frustrated with what had become of my groups of friends.  It makes me sad to know that this is happening at an even younger age.

Manning up

Shouldn’t we expect more of our politicians?  I have no desire to vote for someone whose strategy is to demean the opposite sex.  We use terms like whore and slut so loosely.  I imagine that at one point or another every girl in this class has been called one of these derogatory names whether or not it was meant to be malicious.  I also imagine that every boy in this class has been called a faggot or told to man up.  We talk about gender equality, but then we use these words that are gender offensive.  I hate that we associate manliness with toughness.  Yes, most men might be stronger than most women. However, women are very tough in other ways.  They are strong leaders.  They are doctors.  They are the supermoms that do it all.  Isn’t that enough to make them tough too?  I also agree that men are discriminated based on gender. If a guy wants to be involved in theater, he is assumed to be gay.  Believe it or not, it’s okay to cross these gender lines for something you enjoy.  Lynn Swan was tough as can be on the football field, and he contributes his coordination to ballet.  I can’t believe that anyone would dare call him a faggot.  I just don’t understand what the big deal is.  If we ignore the comments, maybe we can overcome this gender inequality.  It should be acceptable for everyone to do be who he or she wants to be.  Ignore the people that continue to judge because we shouldn’t let other people’s opinions dictate who we are and what we do.  In sports the best people should play and in the work field the most qualified should get the job.  So let’s stop using gender demeaning words to give ourselves a one-up.  

Men's Lib

It’s funny how little society expects from fathers.  The fact that Michael Chabon was complemented on his parenting skills because he took his son to the store is outlandish.  Mothers are expected to be carting their children around.  The father figure has a very poor reputation.  I think that it’s great that Sweden, Germany, and California is permitting paternity leave.  It is about time that the father takes a more active role in the raising of the children.  I am surprised that parenting roles are not more balanced seeing as the number of women in the workforce has increased in the last few decades.  The other interesting fact in this article is that 10 of the 12 jobs that are expected to grow are stereotypically women’s jobs.  Thus, men are going to have to fill these roles if they want to remain in the workforce.  Since the unemployment rate is so terrible, people are exhausted from searching for new jobs.  Men’s unemployment rate is 20.5%, which is 3% higher than women’s unemployment rate.  This fact is worth noting.  Why are men being lazy? In several of the articles we’ve been reading it seems that when men hit an obstacle such as school or work they give up.  The final sentence of this article is couldn’t say it better, “After all, what’s more masculine:  being a strong, silent, unemployed absentee father, or actually fulfilling your half of the bargain as a breadwinner and a dad?”  When you put it that way, what’s wrong with men??!!! I’d be embarrassed to that kind of a man or woman.  Society needs to change with the way the workforce is shaping.   Be proud that you are providing for your family whether you are a construction worker, nurse, or teacher.  I’d rather my dad have any of the stereotypical female jobs than be a bum.  Roles are changing, and these new roles need to be embraced.  Our society will benefit more from it.

The war against boys

As much as I am an advocate of gender equality, I loved Sommers’ The War Against Boys because the research shows that girls are outshining boys in the classroom and in extracurricular activities.  They are the ones stepping up to the leadership roles in the national honor societies and student government.  Girls are more committed to their schoolwork exhibited by their preparation for class.  More women are even going to college.  Judging by the number of girls I know who are active in clubs and succeed in school, I am not surprised by this research.  This strive for success could be attributed to the fact that boys have reached their plateau, while girls still have something to prove.  Some boys have become complacent in their search for success.  Perhaps they see themselves as being the standard by which everyone else lives, and they do not even realize that women are closing the gap.  I do find it interesting that there seems to be a greater gap between the intelligence levels of males or as James Q. Wilson put it, “There are more male geniuses and more male idiots.”  Could it be that competition and the drive for success can cause men to go to either one extreme or the other?  When something interferes with success, two different characters emerge.  One says I will overcome this and be stronger because of it, and the other says forget it.  I’ll do something else.  I think this type of reaction to an obstacle defines both men and women but maybe this is a source for the huge gap in the intelligence level of males.  Some will give up, make jokes about it, and blow it off as it was no big deal.  These men seem to be the ones who don’t care.  If they can’t be the best, they will make fun of those who strive to be the best, when in reality this is a reaction to the jealousy that they are experiencing.

On another note, I was looking up gender differences online and I found the most appalling site I have ever seen:  http://www.menarebetterthanwomen.com/.  This site should be considered illegal.  This pathetic excuse of a man, Dick Masterson, degrades women like I could never have imagined.  He refers to women as cows in his blogs and in reference to women owning houses he said, “A woman owning property is like giving a monkey a dog on a leash. It doesn’t mean the monkey has a pet. It means some idiot tied a dog to a monkey.”  Well if that doesn’t fire you up ladies than I don’t know what will.  Excuse me while I go throw up in disgust after reading his blogs.  

Manhood is Everything (I wish there was a dislike button)

In reference to the American Railway Union’s successful strike of the Great Northern Railroad, Eugene Debs credited the workers because they “stood up as one man and asserted their manhood.”  Manhood appears to be the bar that we are supposed to strive for.  When we set these types of standards we are structuring society into this mold that is built on a particular type of success.  When in reality, success comes in many forms and cannot be measured by a standard.  Phrases like “grandest possible manhood” and the “stamina of manhood” are ridiculous.  If we are going to get technical we should be saying “the grandest possible womanhood” or “stamina of womanhood” because women are the ones who do it all (not that I’m biased of course).  

The most difficult thing for me to grasp in this class is how many male standards I have overlooked over the years.  I have been completely ignorant of the language I use and the things that I see/ hear and accept because they seem so normal.  I was listening to a mixed CD in the car that I made when I was about 13.  The song was by Good Charlotte and the lyrics were “Girls don’t like boys. Girls like cars and money.”  13 year-old me thought nothing of this.  But now, WOAH! Let’s just encourage little girls to grow up to be gold-diggers.  Who needs an education when you can just marry rich?  This really drives me insane!  Women need to have an education so that they can empower and provide themselves.  Having an education and being able to financially support oneself puts us on a more equal playing field.  We have more leverage in a sense to use. 

Hilkey’s article bothers me because he associates the power of will with success and characterizes that as a masculine quality.  He says that because of male’s libido and desire for conquest in battle, men have more power of will leading to success.  Once again, AHH!  This makes me cringe.  Yes, boys are competitive but so are girls!  Girls can do anything boys can!!! We have just as much will as men to awesome in every aspect of our lives.  I want to be superwoman.  I want to do everything I possibly can and do it well.  Both men and women are successful so drop the male standards of success.

Men will be boys

The truth is out… boys do cry!  But seriously, most girls want a guy who can be both strong and sensitive.  I don’t want a guy weeping on my shoulder, but it’s nice to know that boys have feelings too.  Valenti is something else!  She’s certainly a force to recon with.  She has many valid points on the way society constructs boys into men, or more often now men into boys. 

It’s very frustrating because I just don’t understand why we allow ourselves to be socially constructed/ continue to socially construct the following generations.  We imbed these ideas of what girls or in this article, boys, are suppose to be like.  Why does it matter?  Shouldn’t we just be who we want to be?  Can’t we remove the stereotypes and stop trying to mold people into what we “think” boys and girls are suppose to be like.  I worry that we will never actually see that type of equality because so many people are brainwashed into thinking that this is the way things are suppose to be.  We are a very judgmental culture.  We love to analyze other people’s lives.  We like to criticize their faults, when in reality their faults are probably the same as ours.  

On another note, Christina Hoff Sommers’ The War against Boys discusses why it’s a bad time to be a boy in America.  Girls have surpassed boys in the classroom; they are getting better grades.  Girls are the leaders of the clubs and activities.  They are more engaged in school and more concerned with achieving success.  More women attend college than men.  This information shows that women have come very far and that our interest in achievement is paying off.  In middle school and high school, I always assumed girls were more ambitious because we were the ones making the grades and filling the leadership positions.  The idea that boys were less interested in these types of things seemed normal.  So I guess I am not surprised that the statistics are confirming this.  What I am concerned about is why boys are disinterested in school and extracurricular activities.  Sadly, I hear parents condone boys disinterest in school with the “oh you know how boys are” comment.  I also believe that being competitive, if a boy cannot easily beat a girl in something he will pretend it doesn’t matter and not apply himself because of the fear of failure.  I guess this is something that needs some further research.

More Aware

Prior to this class, I never noticed the stereotypical gender remarks.  I grew up feeling like I could do anything a boy could do and probably do it better.  I have always been given the same opportunities that boys I knew were given.  My parents encouraged me to follow my passions whether that was power rangers or the medical field.  They said that I could do anything I set my heart to, and to this day I still believe it.  I do not believe that a man can get in my way from accomplishing my goals.  We have been blest to be in America for that reason because in many countries these types of ideals are unrealistic for women. 

With that being said, now that I am in this class I have been more observant to the little comments that are gender discriminating.  I was driving today with a boy in my passenger seat, and he said, “You’re a good driver, but you still don’t have the Y chromosome.”  I laughed at the time and said, “Oh please like having a Y chromosome makes you any more adept, if anything it’s a handicap.”  Even though I believe that I am capable of anything that a man can do, I’m finally “hearing” these little “jokes.”  I think it is important to be confident and fire back another little “joke” because confidence can overcome these little remarks.  It’s funny though how casual they are though because we’ve grown up hearing the “that’s my boy!” or “quit being such a girl!” comments.  We’ve all done it.  It is important to educate the next generation so we can break from this mold. 

Another thing that I’ve picked up on since starting this class is that you (Celia) said that women are more inclined to start out a sentence “I think/believe.”  Writing these blogs I am becoming more cognizant of how many opinionated sentences I start with “I think /believe.”  I keep catching myself and forcing myself to change it.  Crazy how that works…

Ecofeminism

Ecofeminism looks at the relationship between women and nature.  In most cases, women are compared to nature in a patriarchal society because males have dominated both for so long.  Words that describe women and nature are transposed.  Women are called foxes and chicks, while nature can be conquered and subdued.  It is believed that it is a joint effort for women and nature to be freed because of the domineering relationship between men and them. 

Some human centered environmentalists, like Rachel Carson, believe that when we are harming the earth we are harming ourselves. I think that this is an important part of ecofeminism.  We are not fully aware of the effects of our actions.  We continue to exploit our natural resources, and we drive the two blocks to work instead of walking (or drive from East to class). 

Rene Descartes’ philosophy, “I think, therefore I am,” is believed to be one of the reasons why humans feel the need to control nature.  Humans think that because we are capable of thinking that we are superior to those that cannot think like trees.  Thus we use our power to make decisions on what land we will destroy to build a new highway or mall.  As with everything, I think it is about moderation.  While it is important to build certain structures, we need to be respectful of the environment and preserve what we do have. 

Mary Daly seemed a little two extreme for me.  She referred to men as parasites, who feed off women's energy to fuel their destructive activities.  This seems a bit harsh.  Plenty of women are just as destructive to the environment.  On the other hand, I know plenty of guys who are members of Greenpeace, and they are trying to save the environment.  I have a difficult time respecting someone's opinions if he or she is not tactful with how they say things.  I didn't feel like Mary Daly was tactful in her accusations. 

Overall, ecofeminism is very appealing because it seeks to liberate both women and nature.  I think that this is empowering.  I have always tried to be conscientious of the environment but never really considered the connection I had to the environment.  

Postmodern and Third-Wave Feminism

To define a few words that I have just added to my vocabulary, postmodern feminists reject phallogocentric thought, or ideas ordered around an absolute word that is male in style.  They also reject feminist thought that aims to give a single explanation for why women or oppressed or how to liberate women.  Third-wave feminists are interested in diversity and change.  They welcome conflict and contradictions because difference is the way things are.  Until reading this chapter, I was unfamiliar with these terms.  Jacques Derrida discusses structural differences, which are based on binary oppositions.  The definition of female is based on the definition of male.  Cixous also talks of these dichotomies, associated certain qualities with males and others with females.  Obviously we use language to describe other words, but they should not always associate with males or females.  Cixous uses “activity” to describe males and “passivity” to describe females.  She certainly doesn’t know the women I know! Passive is far from the word I would use to describe them. 

Power is another interesting subject that is talked about in this chapter.  Power-relationships are evident in all aspects of our lives.  People are constantly battling for power or being put in their place by power.  Power can be both a limiting and empowering agent.  For women beauty is a source of power.  This desire for power has prompted cosmetic surgery.  The problem is that society defines beauty and makes women self-conscious of every detail on their bodies.  This insecurity leads to drastic measures to be seen as beautiful and rewarded power.  This cycle is one big institution.  Take a beautiful girl like Heidi Montague from The Hills and because of the pressures of society she goes out and has like 15 surgeries.  She has completely deformed her natural beauty.  She looks absolutely fake. 

I like that the Third-wave feminists are open to diversity and change.  I think it is important to separate the stereotypes that we have for people of different backgrounds.  It is important to understand your heritage, but your heritage should never be a handicap or a source of hardship.  More people need to be open to diversity and change because in many cases it is for the best.

Pop Culture Gone Wild

I found this article to be very accurate.  We live in a world where we are told to be two different people.  We are to be the saint and the sinner, the virgin and the slut.  We put on a show to appease everyone; when in reality we aren’t appeasing ourselves.  Pop culture encourages this type of behavior with shows like the Girls Next Door and Maxim’s Hot 100.  The younger, more impressionable generations look up to these celebrities and think that their behavior is acceptable.  We need to learn to make decisions for ourselves and not because society thinks that it’s cool. 

My four best friends and I went to grade school and high school together.  Our similarities and differences bring us together but yet make us unique.  Rose is the eco-friendly leader pushing us to be green.  Katie knows more about history than any history book I ever read.  Both of them are going to Law school.  Francesca is the Donald Trump meets Miss Vogue of the group, destined to employ the world one day.  Molly and I were the science nerds.  She’s in pharmacy school now and I am going to Medical school.  We all have different styles ranging from boho to classic to professional to edgy to the girl next door.  We all have our own causes that we advocate and are all very strong-willed.  We have never let men’s definitions of what we should be come in the way of our aspirations.

So what does this have to do with anything?    We went to Catholic grade school together and then went to public high school.  Walking into high school together we were the minority because there were only 7 of us that came into the high school from our grade school.  The other 240 students came from the feeder middle school.  They all had their cliques and knew everyone.  I remember us sitting in the cafeteria one day trying to figure out where we would fit in.  Most of the girls were far more experienced than us.  It seemed as if everyone was having sex, drinking, and doing drugs.  None of which we participated in.  At this point it would have been really easy to just conform to chaos, but none of us wanted that.  Instead, I believe that we really came into our own.  We started caring less about what others were doing and were just ourselves.  We made friends with everyone but didn’t participate in the things that made us feel uncomfortable.  We focused on academia and dove into our extracurricular activities.  Yes, we enjoy some of the girl stuff like shopping but we’ve never let being a girl or pop culture define who we are.  

Biology

Since my POE is in Biology, and I am taking Dr. Widman’s Biopsychology class this semester, I was very interested in his discussion today.  He presented us with a vast amount of informational studies.  I did not realize how much research has studied sex and behavior.  I do believe that a good portion of who we are is based off of biology.  Dr. Widman confirmed much of that today with his knowledge in that area.  I found it fascinating how the hypothalamus and corpus callosum differ in males and females.  I didn’t realize that there are differences in heterosexual and homosexual males in the nuclei.  This information should make homosexuality more acceptable in the eyes of society.  Sometimes I think we forget that we are animals, highly evolved but animals all the more.  Most of the time women are looking for providers, and men are looking for beauty and fecundity.  We are prodigies of Darwin’s natural selection.  We choose who we want to produce offspring with, and we select the mate who we think will be most successful.  Obviously in our progressive society these roles are not the same in each family.  While both of my parents work, they are great about balancing their work life and our family life. I believe that we should not allow our sex to determine our gender roles, but we should understand the biological differences between males and females.  It is critical to learn as much about our behavior as possible, and in doing so, we need to be conscientious of both biology and social construction.

Nature vs Nurture

Nature versus nurture is a common debate.  Are we the way we are because of our genetic material or because of the environment in which we grew up?  Hubbard and Dobson have different opinions on this subject.  Hubbard believes that we are socially constructed; whereas, Dobson believes we are the product of biology.  Hubbard states that women and men are not born women or men but become women or men.  Hubbard believes that people are trying to fit into society’s interpretation of what is the norm.  She feels that women and men are fulfilling these predetermined lives.  Boys are taught to play with action figures, and girls are taught to play with dolls.  As an aside, that didn’t work out for me.  I played power rangers and ninja turtles, and I hated barbies.  Hubbard says that there is more overlap in the height, weight, and strength of men and women than we realize.  She thinks that the differences between men and women in these areas are due to the types and proportions of foods that men and women eat.  Many social factors, such as diet, exercise, and stress, contribute to the ways in which we develop.  Society’s view of what is beautiful pressures men and women to conform to these ideal shapes and sizes.  On the other hand Dobson shows proof that there are biological differences between males and females.  He states that males and females differ anatomically, sexually, emotionally, psychologically, and biochemically.  Some of the differences include the way the brain is wired and the way hormones are secreted such as during menstruation.  He argues that women are more future-oriented because they are concerned for their children.  Personally, I don’t think we can say that biology determines gender roles or biology does not determine gender roles.  We are a combination of nature and nurture.  Understanding human behavior is far more complicated than I think we, as humans, will ever be able to understand.  No one fits the cookie-cut mold of what a male or female is suppose to be like.

Gender Neutral

The article, “Women’s Rights are Human Rights,” states that the government should aim to eradicate social behaviors where women are forced into subordinate positions.  I feel like this is the part where Miss America says she wants world peace.  To accomplish complete and total equality is like achieving world peace… doubtful.  I am an optimistic person; however, we don’t even know what standard of equality we are seeking.  Every woman in the world strives for a different form of equality.  Some women want equality in the workplace, home, politics, and religious institutes.  Some women want safety and protection.  Some women are content with the man being the provider because they like having less responsibility.  Some women want to be the provider because they want a gender neutral.  But what is gender neutral? Can we even define this?  How do we strive for something we cannot define?  Even as our society becomes more progressive and open to new ideologies, we still look subjects like homosexuality, transgender, and male-female role reversal as “weird.”  Our society likes to say that we are open to new things, but then we say little Billy Brown down the street plays with dolls.  “They better straighten him out or he’s going to turn out odd.”  While society has made great strides in race and gender, we have a ways to go.  I wonder if we will ever be content with the level of equality between different genders and races. 

Conflict

A conflict is when two parties have different goals, ideologies, needs, expectations, etc.  In essence, conflict is present everywhere among us.  In our classroom alone, think about the differences in religious and political beliefs.  Each of us is from a different background and feels strongly about certain subjects.  In some cases, conflict can be a positive thing.  It is important to have people representing opposing opinions.  If we were all clones and had the same goals in life, we would either have very boring lives or extremely conflicting lives.  Our lives would be boring because no one would ever challenge our ethics and beliefs.  We would always be right.  Certainly, that’s not any fun.  Some of the best ideas have come from collaborations between opposing viewpoints.  On the other hand, our lives could be too conflicting because everyone would be fighting for the same needs and wants.  In a positive perspective, conflict creates balance.  People push each other to learn more and advocate our ideas. 

In the negative perspective, conflict can lead to aggression and violence.  Sometimes people of contradicting religions or political standpoints degrade others who do not believe in the same things.  Sometimes this derogatory behavior leads to acts of violence.  For example, Martin Luther King Jr. was killed for his belief that we were all equal despite race or gender. When people have conflicting views, they will often times block out the other person’s views.  This wall does nothing but lead to animosity.  Pro-life versus pro-choice is a huge conflict in today’s society.  Transgender and homosexual rights are another issue.  Oil companies want to drill more, but environmental groups seek other options.  All of these conflicts can lead to acts of aggression and violence, some more extreme than others.  Where do we draw the line between a positive balance of opposing views that shape the world we live in and the aggression and violence that result from hostility between disparate views?

Home and Work

Going into the medical field, I have heard many opinions on whether this is a wise decision or not.  Several male doctors have tried to persuade me into another health profession because being a doctor is so time consuming.  After I graduate, I have four years of medical school followed by three to seven years of residency.  They keep telling me that there is never an appropriate time to have children.  Maybe there is not an ideal time to have a child, but when does everything go according to plan in life?  As women, we learn to adapt to the situation and the challenges that present themselves.  Yes, it is easier for a male to be a doctor.  He doesn’t have to worry about taking maternity leave, but nothing will stop me from doing what I know I am destined to do. 

This discourse that constrains women’s careers is frustrating because it is as if society is pressuring you to choose one or the other.  Apparently, you can’t manage both.  I completely disagree.  Males might struggle with time management, but every woman I know can handle ten times the amount that one person should handle.  My mom works 65 hours week, and she still manages to make dinner, clean the house, attend all of our events, etc.  As far as I’m concerned, women are more like superwomen.  We can handle schedules would have men running the other direction.  

You're a hardcore feminist I swear!

I never considered myself a feminist.  I would have classified myself as an egalitarian.  As Valenti explains, the word feminist carries this negative connotation.  Until reading this article, I would have agreed with that.  I envisioned feminists as intensely man-hating women.  I have always believed that we are equal partners and would not want to degrade the male race because that would be hypocritical.  However, my definition of feminism was incorrect as I learned in this article.  She defined feminism as the movement around the belief in social, political, and economic equality.  I agree with that 100%.  So I guess that makes me a hard-core feminist.  

Something that struck me in this article was that the worst thing to call someone is a woman.  I had never thought about it, but that is a valid point.  It’s the 21^st century.  We should be equals.  However, the most offensive thing one can say degrades women.  How can this be?  Being labeled as a slut, whore, etc, is typical for most women, but when a man partakes in these same activities, he receives accolade.  How do we change this behavior?  We need to change everyone’s mindset.  We are so accustomed to putting women down that we don’t even realize we are doing it anymore.  I hear girls call each other these names as jokes.  It’s not funny when you think about it.  We are just feeding into this derogatory world. 

The section titled, “Things are fine the way they are,” reminded me of my trip to Armenia.  Most of the women there were content with the lack of rights that they had.  With rights comes responsibility.  They preferred not bearing those responsibilities.  I think that they are so accustomed to this way of life that change is frightening to them. Yes, with rights comes responsibility, but some of the most responsible people are the women we know.

Conclusively, feminists should be looked at with respect. We are willing to accept the responsibilities of the rights we are fighting for.  We are willing to be labeled for a cause that we are passionate about.  Perhaps society demeans feminism because many fear this equality.  This knowledge should spark even more women to step up and demand equality.

The Social Construction and Institutionalization of Gender and Race

At first, sex and gender seem like easy words to define.  However, when we attempt to wrap our minds around what it means to be a female or a male, we realize it is far from simple.  Biologically, a male has the chromosomes XY, and a female has the chromosomes XX.  In terms of reproduction, the sex of a person is understandable.  Where the subject matter becomes more challenging is when we try to define the gender aspect of females and males.  Of course, we can describe gender in terms of physical appearance, emotions, and language.  Unfortunately when we tried to describe the ideal male or female, we described these fake people that none of us are or strive to be.  


I disagree with some of the media-made stereotypes that we were portraying in class.  While the media does use the "sex sells" campaign, they have started to show that beauty comes in many forms.  When I was younger, I remember seeing advertisements with models that were super thin and had straight, blonde hair.  I, on the other hand, had an athletic build and curly, brown hair.  With the pressure to conform to this "ideal" look, I straightened my hair and even used sun in (epic failure might I add).  Eventually, I feel that the media started to embrace different shapes and sizes.  They embraced women with curves like America Ferrera, and Tyra Banks decided to have a "real woman"  top model show.  I embraced my curls and body.  I think the thing to realize is that no one is perfect.  Even those who appear to have it all together don't.  The important thing is to let our true beauty shine through.  


I believe that many typical gender qualities that we associate with males and females can overlap.  Yes, our language may spin the adjectives to sound more masculine or more feminine, but when it comes down to it, men and woman are more of a Venn diagram than two separate concepts.  For example, my boyfriend and brother love cooking.  I prefer the so-called male chores like yard work, and I love sports.  In my relationship, I have always been the more outgoing, independent one. My boyfriend is the more emotional one.  In order to avoid being categorized as something we do not want to be, we use adjectives with a connotation that positively displays our gender.